Provo, UT—Brigham Young University administrators confirmed Thursday that sophomore Chad Worthington has been suspended for violating the school’s dress and grooming standards after an attempt to “look more like Jesus.”
“We have strict guidelines for student appearance, and unfortunately, Chad’s insistence on growing out his hair and beard to resemble our Lord and Savior directly contradicts those standards,” said BYU spokesperson Elder Brent Farnsworth. “The Honor Code is clear: We will not tolerate students looking like Christ. Or Brigham Young himself for that matter.”
Worthington, who began his transformation after a particularly inspiring Sunday School lesson, claims he was simply trying to “light the world” by adopting the aesthetic of the very man whose teachings the university claimes to be founded upon. “I just wanted to follow His example,” Worthington said, stroking his now-forbidden beard. “You know, the whole ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ thing. Apparently, at BYU, the answer is ‘Get a clean shave and change out of that dress.’”
Upon realizing that Christ, too, faced scrutiny from the mainstream church of his time, Chad has decided to keep the beard and long hair intact, and wait for the everlasting gospel to catch up.
The university, which enforces strict dress and grooming policies requiring men to be clean-shaven with short, conservative haircuts, maintains that Worthington’s look was a threat to campus order. “If we start allowing beards and shoulder-length hair, next thing you know, students will be wearing sandals and turning water into coffee (in their coffee makers),” Farnsworth warned. “This is not a slippery slope we are willing to go down.”
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The irony of the suspension has not been lost on critics, who point out that BYU is named after Brigham Young—a man whose beard alone would have prevented him from even setting foot on campus. Additionally, some students have raised concerns about the widely circulated paintings of Jesus found in Mormon chapels, which depict Him with flowing locks and a thick, well-maintained beard, making Him an obvious violator of BYU Honor Code but a potential GQ model.
In response to this controversy, BYU has announced a forthcoming update to their approved depictions of Christ. “We are working with our commissioned artists to ensure that future portrayals of Jesus reflect a more BYU-compliant look,” said Honor Code Office Director Sister Marlene Jorgensen. “Moving forward, students can expect to see Jesus with a clean shave, a fresh high-and-tight haircut, and a properly tucked-in polo.”
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