SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced this week that all temple endowment rooms will now feature updated seating arrangements — but only for women. While men will continue to sit in traditional chairs, women will now be hoisted onto faux-marble Greek-style pedestals, in what church leaders are calling “a natural and long-overdue upgrade,” although they were unclear who for.
“We’ve always said LDS women are incredible,” declared Elder Quentin L. Cook for only the seventy-fourth time at the 2025 annual BYU Women’s Conference. “Now we’re demonstrating that by giving them a more elevated perspective — about two feet higher than everyone else, and just slightly more uncomfortable because our women love sacrifice!”
The decision comes shortly after Elder Cook’s address at the Women’s Conference entitled “LDS Women are Incredible!”, which church critics described as a “27-minute list of chores that he wants all women to do, like right now, on their way home from Women’s Conference.”
“Women in the Church aren’t just important, they’re decorative,” said Brother Randy Holmstead, chair of the Temple Aesthetics Committee. “We thought, why not take a page from history and place them where historically important women have always gone — silently atop ornamental columns, just behind the men and slightly off to the side.”
Sources inside the church’s Facilities Management Department confirmed that the pedestals were originally purchased from a closing Hobby Lobby clearance aisle and retrofitted with an optional lace doily cushion “for Emma.”
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Reactions among members have been mixed. Some women, upon seeing the rendering, reportedly wept. Although it remains unclear whether it was due to spiritual awe or the prospect of spending two hours precariously balanced in pumps on a Corinthian-style column.
“I just think it’s beautiful,” said Sister Marlene Davis of American Fork. “It reminds me that we’re cherished, treasured, collectible and entirely impractical for any real purpose.”
Holmstead later clarified that the move “should not be interpreted as a form of exclusion,” he then blurted rather defensively: “can’t you see we are elevating women?”
When asked if women could exercise some priesthood authority but while only on pedestals, Holmstead chuckled. “No, no. Let’s not get crazy.”
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