LDS Church Renews Temple Film’s Product Placement Deal with Pomegranate Growers Syndicate

SALT LAKE CITY, UT — The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today the renewal of its exclusive product placement deal with the North American Pomegranate Growers Syndicate (NAPGS), ensuring the sacred fruit’s continued starring role in the Temple endowment film as the fruit of forbidden knowledge. The agriculture industry has salivated over the “juicily lucrative” deal since the 1990s.

“We prayed about it, fasted about it, and ultimately realized this was a sweet opportunity,” said Elder Ed Bernays, spokesperson for the Church’s newly renamed Holy Monetization Department. “The pomegranate has served as a powerful symbol of temptation and sin for millennia, and also happens to be extremely photogenic under our lighting equipment.”

POM Wonderful spokeswoman Denice Wong said, “we hope to win Utahns’ thirst share back from Swig drive-thrus and Dutch Bros.”

Sources inside the Temple Film Production Committee confirmed that an updated film currently under production will feature an enhanced slow-motion shot of Eve reaching for the fruit, now with subtle lens flares and a branded “POM Wonderful” logo etched into the rind. “We wanted to really emphasize that knowledge is delicious… and high in antioxidants,” said Brother Kirtland Beebuck, head of Sacred Set Design.

The fruit, which some biblical scholars argue was originally an apple, because of the successful Apple Growers oil painting campaign of the 1200s, has reportedly been replaced in modern Mormon retellings by the pomegranate “because apples don’t look nearly as exotic, and also Big POM has deeper pockets.”

The decision has sparked debate among members. “I mean, I guess if you’re going to commercialize Eden, at least pick a fruit with a strong antioxidant profile,” said Sister Linda May of the Lehi 12th Ward. “Still, I was a little distracted during my last endowment when the screen faded to black and said, ‘This temptation brought to you by the Pomegranate Growers Syndicate—bite into sin, responsibly.’”

This isn’t the first time the Church has dipped its toes into divine cross-branding. In recent years, the Relief Society has partnered with Tupperware™, seminary scripture mastery cards have featured QR codes linking to Deseret Book™ affiliate deals, and baptismal fonts now include a discreet “Filtered by Brita®” tag.

Elder Bernays defended the pomegranate deal by pointing to the Church’s scriptural precedent for enterprise. “We’re just following the Parable of the Talents—except our talents are invested in a diversified fruit portfolio.”

Plans are already underway for the next Temple film, tentatively titled Eden 2: Knowledge Never Tasted So Good, which insiders say will feature a new, edgier Lucifer character sipping pomegranate juice from a sustainably sourced chalice while negotiating equity in the Tree of Life with top shareholders.

When asked whether the Church was concerned about accusations of commodifying sacred experiences, Elder Bernays responded, “Of course not. We keep sacred things sacred—and profitable. It’s called ‘good stewardship.’ In the celestial kingdom, there’s no such thing as a missed revenue stream.”