SALT LAKE CITY — In what members are calling either an architectural upgrade or a doctrinal soft launch, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has unveiled its grand new addition to Temple Square: The Family Room, a sprawling, furniture-heavy foyer inside the newly remodeled Joseph Smith Memorial Building — and curiously, the reveal comes mere weeks after the Church quietly published the long-denied 1886 polygamy revelation from Prophet John Taylor on its website.
Church officials maintain the two events are unrelated, but ex-Mormon Reddit and half the Relief Society aren’t buying it.
“First they post the revelation that says polygamy is an eternal law that can never be revoked,” said one puzzled elder, sipping Sprite from a commemorative Ensign Peak mug. “Then they open a giant room named ‘The Family Room’ — singular — as if we’re all supposed to be gathering our wives like Pokémon.”
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The 1886 revelation, long used by FLDS groups as their theological trump card, includes God’s clear commandment that “the new and everlasting covenant [i.e. plural marriage] cannot be revoked.” The document was dismissed as a forgery by the LDS Church for over a century — right up until last month, when the Church uploaded a high-resolution scan to its official doctrine vault with a cheerful caption reading, “A fascinating historical document! (Don’t overthink it.)”
The timing has led many to speculate that the Church may be slowly inching back towards polygamy as a “legacy sealing option.”
“We just wanted a warm, inviting space where families could gather — all of them,” said Elder Brycen W. Heartford, Director of Multi-Wife Optics, as he guided journalists through the massive, open-concept lounge filled with sectional couches, soft lighting, and suspiciously plural seating arrangements.
“There’s room for grandmas, cousins, bonus moms, step-stepkids… whatever celestial configuration you’re sealed into,” he added, gesturing toward an abstract painting titled “Mothers × ∞”.
Church public affairs has firmly denied that the Family Room is a nod to a future policy reversal. “It’s just a foyer,” a spokesperson said. “A foyer where your patriarchal lineage chart might need three poster boards and a color-coded legend to help avoid inbreeding. But still, just a foyer.”
Still, not everyone’s convinced.
Meanwhile, members of the FLDS Church, long considered apostates by the mainstream LDS faith, released a short press statement that simply read: “Told ya.”
As for the next renovation? Rumors swirl about the west end of Temple Square being transformed into The Terrestrial Compound, featuring a sin-themed flaming BBQ pit, shared child-care vestibule, and a commemorative statue of Brigham Young titled “Papa Does What Papa Do.”
In a closing prayer offered at the unveiling, Elder Gerrit W. Gong simply asked the Lord to “bless the maximum occupancy of this family room to accomodate the Jensens.”
