Pictured: LDS Copyright Lawyers hold an emergency meeting to decide how they will be able to squeeze some value out of the book, with changing its official genre to Biblical Fan Fiction always on the table.
The Jewish woman who simply goes by “Mary” said she had travelled all night and humbly asked if there were any unoccupied mangers, to which the ward Elder’s Quorum President enthusiastically explained church policy.
Bradley Whittle, whose ambition has always been to hack the spiritual conversion continuum, has really done it this time.
Although the Church’s own efforts to improve their reputation can be scientifically measured, the results are too inconvenient to be of any use, resulting in continued missionary efforts.
Although the rankings have only been part of the Bishop’s Handbook for a few weeks, Bishops have been intuitively enforcing the policy since the founding of the church, purely through inspiration from The Holy Ghost.
This time we’ve got some fire extinguishers ready, so we hope to last longer than Nauvoo’s first independent newspaper.
We are selling newspapers to pay for website expenses and to partially cover therapy sessions for our writers.
Makes the perfect gift for the heathens in your life.
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